- My family sold our home of 15 years in Galloway New Jersey in January 2014. Shortly after I took a leap of faith a booked a trip to traveled to Hawaii to reconnect with a childhood friend. I then return “home” to no home. We moved out officially in March 2014. This move pushed me outside of my comfort zone and made me confront my survival patterns.
- My family and I went from living in our home in Galloway to an extend stay at a friends house in Brigantine New Jersey from March 2014 to about June 2014. During this time my parents search for their perfect home in upstate Pennsylvania and i reconnected with my ex who we had been apart for almost a year. Also, during these 4 months I lived out of a suitcase rotating 3 outfits I had available to me (God bless that Under Armour sweat outfit- if you spent time with me during those months you get this). I fought for unemployment, I had to swallow my pride and ask for old jobs back and I needed to constantly borrow clothes from friends. I truly felt at my lowest.
- Once my parents found a home and I determined it may not be in my best interests to relocate with them, I had to get comfortable with asking for more help; I needed somewhere to live and could not afford to live alone at the time. I moved in with a my friend and her family back in Galloway New Jersey June of 2014. During this time we traveled together to Mexico, I reconnected with my family in South Carolina, I learned what it is like to be vulnerable, to feel shame, to feel less then, to question every decision I was making, what it feels like things not going “as planned,” who were my true friends, who I was not meant to be with but trying to force it to work, what job I wanted, and what needed to change and fast. I worked two jobs to pay to live with her, I barely had money for anything else. I barely ate, was in friends wedding, and extremely behind on my personal bills. Another test to my ego was when the friend and I had two other girlfriends over and I got a call from the school I was working at and I got fired. It just felt like what else can go wrong.
- Around Christmas of 2014 I had to move out. I no longer felt comfortable there (not that I ever truly did), I wanted a better job, and an easier life for myself. While was interviewing for jobs in Philadelphia, I moved all my stuff to my dads but stayed with my boyfriend at the time’s family while still working in Atlantic City NJ (at the job I had to ask back for a third time). While living with him we traveled to Las Vegas together, Arizona, and Peru. Things felt like they were looking up for us. In the end of April 2015 I had landed a job with SPIN in Northeast Philadelphia Pennsylvania which I accepted and officially moved to my dad’s in Sommerdale New Jersey.
- From April to August 2015 my ex and I tried to make things work long distance. I kept pushing for him to move up with me and stay at my dads and work local while we would try to figure something out to live on our own. He did not budge. In August of 2015 things ended ugly for us. I officially had nothing holding me back even though at the time I did not few it has such.
- After our break up I wanted to stay distracted. I did not want to continue to retreat back to him. I wanted to live for me. I worked two jobs, roughly 60 hours a week before commuting. I began to work to travel. In November of 2015 I went to see my friend who left Hawaii and got stationed in Texas, January of 2016 I traveled to India, in March 2016 my best friend and I began our annual get away tradition with California, in April i traveled to Delaware with a friend I made through work where her and I solidified out summer travel plans; 45 days throughout Europe.
- With how busy I was between work, school, and travel I did not know when or how I was going to meet someone. In 2016 I had created a Bumble account, deleted three times before connecting with my now husband. My husband at the time living over 2 hours away in Fairfield New Jersey, we would have never connected if we did not match during is stay in Philadelphia in April 2016. We talked and FaceTimed before agree to meet in Doylestown Pennsylvania in May of 2016. After we wasted to time to progress into a loving and promising relationship. We made plans to travel to see each other each weekend, he waited for me with each travels dropping me off and picking me up from the airport after all my adventures including: my 45 day in Europe, then Georgia, Oregon, Chicago, Spain, Morocco, Portugal, Maryland. Together him and I went to Niagara Falls, Maine, Virginia, and Asia. In Asia, on The Great Wall of China he proposed. After all that adventure we attempted to settle down and moved in together in Fairfield New Jersey January 2018.
- However, that is when the true adventure began. We were both working, studying, and what felt like struggling. My husband had always talked about wanting to join the military. It had been the topic of our conversations for many months and finally during a late night bed talk we decided together that we would join the military. After talking to recruiters my husband was conflicted if he should go reserves or active so I asked him “what would you do if you were not with me?” and he answered “Active” and I concluded “Then, that is what we will do.” Just like he never held me back, I will never hold him back, to me that is True love.
- In April 2018 we got married in front of our parents and siblings in a court house and the 30th birthday vacation to Costa Rica with his best friend and his wife now function as a honeymoon as well. At the end of May 2018 my husband shipped to basic training.
- After basic training and witnessing him graduate in the top 10% of his class in Oklahoma he relocated to begin training in San Antonio Texas in August 2018 and I met him here in September of 2018. Here we have experienced a lot together; we had our first place alone on base, were able to make a home out of it, we rescued our dog Theodore, we made a few friends, created many memories, my mother was able to visit here twice, my husband’s younger brother was also stationed here whom we got to spend time with, I had time off from work for 6 months to reevaluate, reflect, and relax after several years of chasing my own ass, I sat for the BCBA exam a second time, completed my 3rd and final residency for my PhD in Dallas, and I have watched my husband transform into a bad ass solider and me, a bad ass military wife. Now, in February 2019 we are preparing to relocate again to Columbus, Georgia next month.
“It all worked out.”
“It is all working out.”
“It is all going to continue to work out.”
Life has been unexpected. Like anything other than what i could have planned and tried to control. To map it all in writing illustrates where life has taken me, how it is all connected to each other, and the direction I am heading in. Among the chaos, the detours, the change, the traffic, the discomfort, the road bumps, the past and present have all brought me to amazing places. Internally and externally I have traveled and explored and manifested the life I always wanted to live putting me in a place of profound appreciation.